MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY WELCOME 2017!

    My last Christmas and New Year was very sad. I was not able to send money to my grandparent because I was having issue and problems in financial. I felt depressed why I let things happen.

    When I called my grandparents in my province, my grandma was crying. I know they miss me. But it's difficult to get job in holidays as everybody is busy and usually they hired January. So I have to do is to wait til the holiday is over.

    I get extra income when I guide some tourists that spending vacations in Philippines. I usually make a plan for their vacation. But in Manila, I have to spend money everyday for foods and expenses.

    It's really sad to be alone in Christmas. My first Christmas to be far away from my grandparents. Usually, when I spent Christmas with them, I make preparations. I cook their favorites and I make noise in New Year's eve.

    I thought it will be much fun in manila to be with friends on holidays, but wrong. It's always a good feeling to spend it with family and the people we love.
 

    In Christmass eve, some neighbors knocked on my door to invite me to participate their Christmas party. Just inside compound, they are having party and games, dancing and foods. It was so funny and entertaining. There is karaoke too! anI I love karaoke coz I love music. It's sad that i didn't take photos.

    But even I was smiling, deep inside my heart, I was crying.  I miss my grandparents and I want to spend Christmas with them.
   
    Last New Year was also same. But I have no preparations, I just stayed in my room the whole day. I just go out to buy foods outside and came back to my room.

    What's happening to me? Why am I losing hope? I feel so alone. I feel different. I became emotional and less confident. Am I going to give up my dream? God, please give me more strength and encouragement. I don't want to stock here.

    I saw groups of ants carrying foods. They work very hard, they risk their lives in getting foods. They never give up. And maybe from too much eating they transform and wings growing on their back. They maybe dream to fly and reach the light bulb.

    Maybe I need changes. I need to change my mindset and stop thinking negative. Maybe this will be my new year's resolution. I should not give up my dreams.

    But, is new year's resolution true? Some people jumped high so they'll get tall. Some noise their coins so more money coming. Some wear polka dots for a goodluck. Some prepared 12 kinds of rounds fruits on  their table and sweets so more blessings and strong family. Some couples kiss so they'll be together for longtime.

    I don't know if it's true. But it's fun to believe right? Do we really wait for new year for changes? why not everyday when we wake up, right? I believe that changes starts within ouselves. If I will not move, nothing will good happen.

     Mind is so powerful.We build our dreams.We make things we want.  We can create things that are impossible.We make future. We choose who we wanna be. Somehow we can defeat weak emotions and choose to be happy. What we want is what we get but we just have to push ourselves. So I'm gonna get up continue struggling.

 MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!