my first sexy pics!

   

I met a good friend.. she is now a successful photographer. She said the camera loves me. How about a photoshoot with me?

    At first, I was shy. But then, I have to think that I am beautiful and no reason to be shy. If normal people can do, why can't I? 

    So I challenged myself. My friend keeps taking me photos and stolen shots.

 The theme is sexy. My god! first time to do it. I am happy about the result.

     When I uploaded my photos in facebook, everyone is so shocked and surprised! It's my first time to upload sexy photos. 

But yes, I did it! I received positive comments. Wow! thank u. Now I am more confident. 

During my job application, i saw a man on the wheelchair

     I came online to find a job. I got a call from a call center company. I was invited for an interview. I go all alone. First I was scared coz I thought I'll be lost. I'm still confused about the public transportation. But luckily I found the building. 

     I passed the initial interview. Then I took the versant exam. I passed it. After that, a call interview. Then computer exam. I was so tensed. Some of the applicants have experienced already. And they are really good. 

     We are only a few people waiting for the final interview coz some didn't pass. I'm almost there! Feelings were mixed. Tensed. Hungry. Tired.coz I went there 9am and it was 12midnight but still waiting for the result. It's always like this when applying call center. But I was excited about the result. 

     While we all waiting in the lobby for the result after the final interview with the operational manager, I saw someone that really touched me.A guy on the wheelchair. He is so positive. He just finished signing the contract. Wow! He must be smart. He is a good inspiration to me. He said he plays basketball even in the situation. 

     His situation is never a hindrance to doing what he wants in life and lives happily. He looks for a job and he is responsible to his family. Wow! such amazing character! 

     While waiting for the result, I am inspired and I got new friends. Some of the applicants were called to get inside the room and others with me are still waiting. 

     Then I heard the HR called my name. I followed him to his room. He said, "I'm sorry, you didn't pass the final interview. You can come back to apply again after 3months." 

      I wanna cry but I won't cry. I waited long hours just to get failed. But that's ok. Maybe it's not for me. 

     My friends from the waiting area were sad to know I failed. They expected that I will pass and they really wanted to work with me. "sorry guys, I didn't pass. But that's ok. Maybe it's not for me but at least, I learned something today and I got new friends. We can still see each other sometime." and then we shared contact numbers.

    In life, every day we learned something and people come and go but we create good memories with them. Even some negative result happen, I will stay positive and never give up, continue to learn, continue to dream.

I learned something today!

    My first time in Manila was exciting. I met different people. I discovered many places and learned to use public transportations though sometimes it's confusing. But with the use of Ways apps and google map,I was able to find the places.

     If I got trouble in commuting and finding the places, I booked a Grab. It's fixed rate so I'm not worried if it's traffic to where I go and it's very safe.

     There are many bars and clubs in Manila but I don't really drink. I am surprised that there are lots of ladyboys and transgenders here. And they are more pretty than girls. wow! Big boobs and nice ass..whitwew! haha!

     A friend shared a bad experience with a ladyboy. He was drinking in a bar and he met a very pretty girl. He really liked her so much so he invited her for a drink. He paid for her drinks. And when they both get drunk, he invited her to his condo.

     They were kissing each other and so on. but he wondered why it took a long time to remove her pants. Shit! she is a ladyboy..! That is funny! He freaked out and said, "Get out!"

     And now he learned his lesson. Whenever he went to a bar, he first asked if she is a straight girl. Haha. I know it's weird for girls but at least he wanted to make sure about the gender.

     When I first entered a big mall, I was scared. I was thinking that how can people get out from that big mall without getting lost? Too many exit and entrance and has many floors. Maybe I can do it too! Why not? So I challenged myself. I tried to get a food.

     First, it was confusing because too many people inside the mall coz Christmas  is near. But I just followed the signs I encountered. So finally, I was able to find the food court. Lots of menus and affordable prices. Nice.

      Then I saw a complete family and it really makes me sad coz I don't have a good family. Someday, I will marry a nice guy and we make our own family. I hope so.

     Then after that, I go around and check nice views. I'm happy that I able to find my way home very safe. Thanks to God I learned something today and I got home very safe.

"my biggest challenge"

     The biggest challenge for people like me who has disability is making people treat me like a normal person and respect me as I am.

     Well, if u ask me, I never consider myself as a disable and I never treat myself like that. I wear clothes I want to wear. I walk like normal. I can run. I can swim. I can dance. For me I'm normal.

     I'm thankful that my friends treat me like normal too. I am friendly and cheerful person. The only exemption is I cannot  a normal shoes. My only weakness is I cannot stand alone for a long time without holding something to support standing.

     But only a few friends knows about that. I don't want to show them my weakness. I want my friends and those people who know me when they hear my name "Debbie", they will remember me as a positive person and rather call me crazy than to remember me as a person that has disability.

    I believe that people treat me the way how I treat myself and see me the way how I see myself. For me.. It's always flattering when they call me beautiful and crazy. Sometimes they don't hand out without me.

   I remember that I jumped out from the window just to get to the disco. Hahaha! I know it's funny. But yes, I did it because my grandparents they didn't allow me to go to the school party at night. "No.. you are not going! you will sleep early."But luckily I didn't break my bones coz I realized that it was dangerous.

   When I decided to go Manila, I remember that my grandparents they were so worried for me and they did not agree. But I am stubborn. Yes, I fight for what I think is right and good for me as long as I don't harm anyone.

    "I know that you care for me. But if u really love me.. You will let me grow up. Let me learn.Just like when you like a flower. Don't pull it off coz it will die. Let it grow and bloom." My grandfather said, " I am always proud of you, dear. But please be always careful for the world is becoming worst nowadays."

    Now that I am in Manila, I am trying to improve myself. I learned a lot from my new friends.
But I know my limitations. I will not break the trust that my grandparents gave me.

  I just hate it when taxi drivers asked which province I came from. Some taxi drivers took advantage once they know I am new in Manila. I may look like "Maria Clara" coz I used to have a long straight black hair. So I cut my hair and colored them. It looks good to me. Not bad.

   I am ready to face Manila.Ready to learn new things. Ready to accept challenges. Ready for a new chapter of my life. Positive!

"i have to learn how to use the public transportation"

   The first week i stayed in manila, I was nervous because i don't know the fate awaiting for me here. And even I'm alone I should not be scared for I am a person who has a dream.

   I'm still happy to have new friends here. They helped me a lot and teach me how to use the public transportation. At first, I find it confusing and difficult to remember especially traffic and pollution.

    The route of the jeepneys and buses are different. Not like in province that I have to wait every 30 minutes before the big bus arrives to take us to the city.

    In my province, I have to walk 15 to 20minutes before reaching the main road. And from the main road, it is 16km away from the city. If I am in hurry I have to ride a motorcycle ( we call it habal-habal) just to reach destinations. Only few jeepneys travel in a day. So no traffic. And only until 4pm . so there are no buses and jeepneys at night.

     It's different in Manila. I think some jeepney drivers don't sleep and working the night shift. Maybe because some people are still working and active at night. But after the new president won(Duterte), I saw changes. The traffic before that usually ends very late at night, now around 10pm the streets are clear and not much traffic and police are always around.

    So it became safer to travel at night unlike before that many holdappers and snatchers. now, the jail is overloaded! haha.

   I remember when I first ride the train. I was so scared! influenced by the too much watching movies especially the "train to busan" movie. Many things on my mind. I was thinking what if the train stops. What if there having technical problems. What if some infected passenger inside the train and we got trapped inside? oh its just a movie. It's not true, I'm just crazy. I have to learn to manage to reach my destination in a faster way ,avoiding traffic.

    I got the ticket. Luckily, there was a handsome man offered me a sit.. oh..yeah! I forgot I'm a disable that's why he offered me.

    It was a nice experienced. I arrived safely but I have to get off from the stairs. I hate stairs , better with an escalator.

    And now I'm learning to use the MRT and the LRT. I find it accessible to use especially rush hours. But only 5am to 10pm. At least, I'm not afraid anymore to ride the train.

   And hopefully to learn more on using public transportation and familiar with the route. I know that God will always protect me wherever I go.


 

"how i learned about bitcoin/ coins.ph"

     My first time in Manila was so exciting. I got new friends from the boarding house. They tried to help and assist me. I met some people and I learned many things from them.

     A good friend from japan heard my story, he has a good heart. He understands my situation. Since I am looking for a job, and it's very difficult because I paid for my room, bills, and my foods, and everyday expenses, my money almost finished.

       My Japanese friend tried to be helpful. He proposed me about blogging. After people read my story, they decide to donate by bitcoin or not. But at least I able to share and inspire people.

      At first, I hesitated because I doubt that it will not click. What if no one will listen? and no one will care to listen to my story?.

      But then he encouraged me to join. he said, "Who knows? This is a good start to reach your dreams. You can save money from Bitcoin and slowly you can start your dream business, you can pay your bills.While looking for a job at least u have savings.Just be yourself and express yourself by blogging."... I said," But how to do it? I don't have ATM card."he said, "don't worry you can withdraw the money even without ATM card in any security bank. Many easy ways to send money. From your blog you can get donations from other countries by using Bitcoin and we have to convert it to peso so you can cash it out."  Yes ,why not? really, it sounds cool like a mobile wallet. So finally I agreed. I see hope for my dreams.

      I don't have PC so he let me borrow his PC and he just bought me a pocket wifi so can have the internet in my room and start blogging.

Coins.ph

     It's very easy to open an account. At first, he asked me to download the Coins.ph application from my mobile. I just completed the verifications such as email, phone, identity, and selfie . In Identity verification, the ID should be valid and readable.  It takes 24hours to 3days to get the confirmation. Not bad. Finally, I got verified and completed the level 2.

     He tried to send me some amount through Coins PHP wallet and it works!

     I tried to withdraw money to any security bank without ATM card by following the steps: from the Php wallet, I click the send and I go to send cash, and I click the cardless Atm instant Payout(24/7). Then I entered the amount I want to cash out. and then after I click next step. Right then, I filled up the full name and mobile number,then complete payment. Then I choose PHP wallet and then pay. Then the coins.ph sent the passcode to my email.And I received a message from coins.ph to my mobile : the 16 digits .

     Then I went to security bank. I press the enter and then press the 16 digits and the passcode. I got the money. It's really cool.

     I also did try to send some amount to my province for my grandparents by using sendah remit. whenever i have questions, i asked the support and they are very friendly and guide me well, they gave me information, and provide answers to my questions.. plus they reply fast!

     My friend explained to me that bitcoin is an electronic currency. A cryptocurrency and a payment system.  He made an account for me in bloggers.com and a twitter account to increase my viewers. And from my every blog, they can see the code of my bitcoin use for donations. All I have to do is to blog and increase my viewers.

     When I first received donations from other countries I felt so happy. And I realized that there is potential for me to earn and inspire people even I am just in my room. Slowly by slowly I will save.

    I see opportunities from this, for I get donations from other countries who appreciate my blogs that even I just stay in my room or whenever i am free ,I can just write blogs and earn .. I could save money and start my dream business and able to be helpful to my grandparents.

     I am very thankful to my Japanese friend who helped me learn about bitcoin and blogging for I am given a chance to share my experience and same time I earn from donations. I am also thankful to those new friends who read my blogs and support, follow my posts. You really help me a lot. A good start saving money for my future business.

      I highly appreciate those who read and donate me. Every day , I am inspired to write something for my blogs. I hope that people like and inspired by my story. Please continue to support me. Help me reach my dreams. Thank you so much !

"When i met my mom"

 

      When I arrived manila, my feelings are mixed.. A little bit of worried and excited. One of the reasons aside of looking for opportunity , is a also a chance to my meet my mom..

       I was 3 years old when she left me... And I will meet her for the first time from the many years that she left me.. I wanted to know her.. I have so many questions on my mind. " Why she left me? Did she really tried to abort me? Does she really love me? Why she is not reaching me out?"

      A relative told me that she is living in Muntinlupa, Alabang.. So I tried to find her. When I found her, I didn't know what to say, I feel like I wanted to hug her, and tell her that I need her and I still love her and forgive her.. That she don't need to explain everything to me and start life with her.

      She asked me, " Why are you here?" I answered, " Because they said that my mom lives here and I wanted to know her. I have so many things to ask.".. My tears fell down to my cheeks. She said, " You shouldn't come. This place is not good for you. I cant give you a good life here. I am poor."
 
     I felt that she was only making excuses. I felt that she didn't want me to stay.. "Go back to province, You should not be here."..I cried and said, " but please.. give me some time to know you.. Only for temporary"... she said, "ok"..

     But inside those days , I didn't felt love from her, it seems that she is not used to have responsibilities. She works for her sister who has a business of selling take out foods.. I sometimes work there, but no salary, only free foods and accommodation.

      But I'm not after for anything, I just want to be with my mom. But she is cold to me and didn't treat me nice.. She never care for me.

     One time, I experienced sleeping outside the gate for the first time in my life because she care more the house than to me..I was just from internet shop and came home late like 7 pm..and She was not at home and the gate was locked. she knew that I was outside and I was so disappointed... People looking at me. What if a bad person attack me outside?..

     I cried and I realized that she doesn't really love me..  Maybe she really doesn't like me. Some of her relatives and neighborhoods didn't know that she has a daughter that has disability.

    Everyone is shocked. She doesn't want people gossiping her because of me. Maybe bacause she is shy of my situation. She just wanted me to stay at home only and whenever she go, locked that gate and I was just inside with foods. .

    I felt like an animal... I felt rejected by my own mom.. It hurts so badly to know that the person who I thought can protect me, will be the first person who hurt and discriminated me.

    So I decided to go my boarding house in Novaliches. Maybe I have to respect her decision, maybe I have to understand her..

    But atleast I gave a try to know her and gave her a chance to prove that she is my mom.. But its sad that she only disappointed me and break my heart hope someday she will realize her mistake, she will learn to love me and accept me. Maybe if someday, I will become successful she will be proud of me.. I hope someday.''

"My first experience in the Manila"

      After the super typhoon, I never had a chance to go back my study. Lack of financial support and its so crisis in province.. My uncle who supported my study died from the super typhoon. I felt so hopeless.. I was so worried about my future. Also my grandparents are becoming old and unhealthy.

      My grandma is 83 and my grandfather is 79. Too old and i wish for them to have more life. Lately my grandma had lung disease and she had been into 6 months medication.. And now my grandfather also is not ok..

     Watching them in the situation is killing me. And I cannot accept that I cannot do anything.  My auntie is 60 plus she has small store but the income is not enough.  So I decided to go Manila to find job so I can continue support my grandparents maintenance medicines and needs, my aunt agreed to look after them while i am far away and if i got job, every salary I will send them money.

     First, they did not agree. They said that Manila is not a good place for me. So many bad people in the city. Its not that they don't trust me, but they don't trust the people.

     But if no one will move, then who will move? I cannot stuck myself in province watching them in a bad situation. I want to be helpful. I want to be successful so I can provide their needs.

     How will I know if I will not be successful in manila if I not try? If it didn't work for me then go home. But i can't give up without trying. I know its not easy for me because I have disability, but who knows?

      I sold my laptop just to have money for the trip..And I left some also for my grandparents.  It was 24 hours sitting inside the bus for the trip to manila. Got backpains and headaches,but that was ok..

     My first time to travel alone. Feelings were mixed.. A little bit of worry , and also excited.. I reached the destination in Pasay.. Finally I am in Manila!I was so amazed..

     I saw the huge buildings. I only saw them on TV. "How does it feel if being on the top? and able to see the glamouring lights of the city?" I saw big malls with many floors.."Maybe if i go inside i would get lost! too many exit! haha."

      I didn't know where I was but it says, Makati. Then I realized that I have nowhere to stay," Where will I go now?".. I saw the buses going to Novaliches. I ride the bus, and I fell asleep on the bus.. Maybe because I was tired.

     When I woke, I turned my head around. Gosh! I realized that I was alone in the bus. So  get I off with my bagpack. I didn't know where I was. I was very tired, and I just needed a place to sleep. I saw a Sogo hotel to sleepover.

     On the next day,I walked around and observed the people.. I realized that I am in the city of Novaliches, in the north part of Quezon city, I ate just burgers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner...

     I stayed two nights in the hotel before I found the affordable accommodation.. I got a solo room in a boarding house, kitchen and 3 bathrooms are outside the room.. At least safe and affordable.

    I got new friends around. They are nice to me.. So many things to learn from them.. And i am enjoying it so far...I hope to learn more and find great opportunities. Good luck to me.

" i learned to walk, stand, and be strong"

    It was my grandparents took care of me since I was a baby coz my mom left me. They are worried if I cannot walk because of my club feet. The bones are not in a good position.

     We lived in a mountain province, far from city and its not civilized. There was no near hospital or doctor to check up for my feet situation. We only have native doctor in province. So I never had opportunity to go operation.

     My grandparents had a very long patients to take care of me and taught me to walk with just using slippers. It took sometime for me to learn to walk. I was always sad because i cannot wear shoes. whenever I fell down, my grandpa always says, "stand up."and that's how i learnt to walk.
   
     When I used to be a pupil, I used to cry always because some classmates bullied me. "Whats wrong with your feet?! They are so ugly!".. It hurts me a lot.. I felt so different..and sometimes they get something from me and ran.... but I couldn't run as fast as them so they just laughed at me.. So i went home crying.

      My grandpa hates to see me crying.. He said," Stop crying. Why are you crying? Are you a looser?...Don't let anyone step on u .. Its not always every time we can protect you as we are getting old. You have to learn how to defend yourself! Show them you my grand daughter.. Go! Beat them."..

     It is my grandparents who taught me how to walk, stand up, and be strong. Without them, I am nothing. So that's how I grew tough.

     Wherever I go I'm not afraid. I'm now at Manila for the first time and alone. Looking for job. I don't know what life is waiting for me here. But I always hope to get a job soon and be successful so i can save money for my future business. This will be another journey of my life..